Blogger Subjected to Censorship Due to False Reports to WordPress

This blog titled: Multiple Personalities and Dissociative Identity Disorder Don’t Exist is constantly under attack by those who disagree with the opinions voiced here.


WordPress (Photo credit: Adriano Gasparri)

False complaints are repeatedly filed at WordPress by individuals who identify themselves as having multiple personalities and/or Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) and this blog goes black until this blogger makes changes that they demand.

The current threat came today: 11/27/12 from what appears to be another WordPress blogger who reported to me that a complaint may be filed with WordPress if I do not succumb to their demand.

The complainant:

“stuff I said”

I know there was a complaint filed, but do not know the contents.

Although false, the last complaint was copyright infringement stemming from this blogger simply listing a link to a particular site in the Directory regarding websites & blogs.

To my readers: My apologies, if this blog goes black, yet again. I will take immediate action to rectify the situation quickly.

WordPress, the owner of this software, will shut down any blog when a complaint is logged. WordPress, by their own admission, does not ascertain the veracity of such complaints. WordPress instructs bloggers to take remedial action with the DCMA if they take issue with a bogus complaint – a process that may take months.

Bloggers have 2 choices:

– do what the complainant wants without regard to the integrity of the complaint.

– stand-up to the false complaint by going to the DCMA while the blog remains black.

My sincere apologies to my readers. Unfortunately, I cannot control the actions of those in the survivor community who identify themselves as having multiple personalities and/or the diagnosis of Dissociative Identity Disorder who desire to censor this blog and the opinions expressed here.

Jeanette Bartha


Censored (Photo credit: Guerretto)

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  1. Hey Jeanette,

    I’m sorry for the flak you are taking, but can I add a “but”? I know you feel you are doing a public service and trying to warn others about what you consider a false disorder. But since you believe d.i.d. is iatrogenic, maybe you should target the therapists and leave out the “victims” altogether. When you link to blogs by those who “have” d.i.d. you are making them the target of your expose, at least in their opinion. And for them, it’s an extremely deep and personal thing that you are sharing. They don’t want their experiences held up for scrutiny and jeers by those in your camp.

    I just reread ISSTD’s guidelines for helping those with d.i.d. and they still make me angry. I personally feel you are throwing the baby out with the bathwater, as my wife who has always been dysfunctional is finally getting better, but it’s because we have NOT done things the ISSTD way.

    Take care,



    • Lady Quixote

       /  11/27/2012

      What Sam Ruck says here makes sense to me. I don’t know all the details behind the argument, I feel sort of like I’ve walked into a room in the middle of a conversation. But, what Sam says is food for thought.

      Being free to speak our individual take on truth and reality is vitally important, I believe, and so is the courtesy of trying to communicate our truth in an attitude of respect and empathy, even for those people whose beliefs are completely counter to our own.

      Nobody has a corner on truth and reality, in my opinion. We are all like the blind men groping various parts of an elephant and trying to describe the elephant based on one small part. The trunk, the hide, the feet, the legs, the tusk, the ears, etc – how different they all are, yet they are all part of one animal. Each of us sees what we see through filters from our individual, unique past experiences, and the filter of our limited understanding. No wonder it’s impossible to find two people that can completely agree on anything! I recently read a book written jointly by identical twins who grew up in the same family and went to the same schools, yet they are so vastly different; one is a lifelong schizophrenic, the other is a Harvard educated psychiatrist.


      • A Harvard psychiatrist and a person with schizophrenia? That’s about as far apart as it comes.

        Yes, we all have opinions and it would be a wonderful fluffy world if everyone was allowed to speak their minds – without having to slice someone else or censor them so they can do it.

        As I write I am painfully aware that there may be a political action against me for including a link on my blog. I write knowing my words could evaporate from the page any moment because someone out there does not agree with me and may be filing a bogus report to WordPress. It’s an odd feeling knowing my words could evaporate.. then again comes the challenge of not letting that happen. Who said: there is nothing worse then when a good man remains silent. Sorry to the writer for mashing the quote.

        If you want to follow the bouncing ball, follow the blog owner who sparked this post. I read her blog today and she wrote a post titled: Arrogant. It’s about me and she admits so to a commenter “Juliet” with an icon of a happy face winking.

        Using the “Arrogant” post as an example, what have we? A person who came to my blog, made accusations, demands, and threats, who then turned around and wrote an post titled: Arrogant? I need someone to explain this to me. Hah – the book Mistakes Were Made – time to reread a few chapters to close the cognitive dissonance gap.


    • Hi Sam,

      Good to hear from you and I’m glad to know your wife continues to improve. It must feel good for you after so many years. I think your words of wisdom and criticism of the ISSTD could help many, many families struggling as you are.

      Yes, Sam, I understand that people with DID think I am intrusive to say the least – I get that, and your criticism is well received. I find the Directory a difficult issue to cope with yet find it is a good resource for those wanting to know what people with DID think – in their own words.

      I get more flak then you can imagine; some were so vile and threatening I had to report them to the police. I write about my experiences and offer people the opportunity to respond and to share their thoughts. I get criticized and screamed at for speaking on behalf of the multiple community and I am continually told I don’t know what I’m talking about so I created the Directory so readers can visit blogs and see what multiples think – in their own words, not mine.

      Thank you, Sam for visiting and for speaking to me in a civil manner. You are a breath of fresh air.

      Best to you and your family, JB


      • Lady Quixote

         /  11/27/2012

        Hi again, Jeanette:
        After I wrote my response to Sam’s comment, I then found your reply to Sam in my email. OK, now I have a much better understanding about the conversation I sort of walked into the middle of.

        Your explanation of why you published the directory to blogs written by people who believe they have DID, makes perfect sense. Sam’s idea also still makes perfect sense to me. The elephant is so big and complicated, but hey, at least we are talking about it and not just ignoring the elephant in the living room, like so many people seem to do!

        As for me, I do not know if MPD/DID is real, or iatrogenic, or something else altogether. My dad was diagnosed MPD in 1965 when I was 12 years old, and he did indeed behave as though several different people lived inside his body, beginning with my very earliest childhood memories. When I was 2 and 3 years old, and no one but me was there to observe, my dad would in turns be very loving and caring and protective, and at other times he did things like stop the car on the bridge on the way to San Francisco (from our home in Oakland to get mother from work), and when I wasn’t even crying or whining of doing anything “wrong” or nerve-wracking, my dad pulled me out of the car, while chanting in a weird psycho voice that he was going to throw me off the bridge. It was terrifying, of course, one of my first trauma memories, when I was not-quite 3.

        My dad became a Protestant Pentecostal minister when I was 6 (he was 24), then whenhe was 30 and I was 12 he became a Buddhist, and shortly before he died at the age of 53 he became a Catholic, although as a Pentecostal minister he had preached that the Pope was the anti-Christ, and that the end was near when the Catholic Kennedy was elected president.

        I realize that people change and evolve over time, everyone does, I certainly have – but my dad’s gross changes nearly always occurred abruptly, and mosdt of his abrupt changes did not last very long. None of this is proof of his MPD/DID being “real,” but, who knows? Just because someone’s diagnosis of DID may be mistaken, does not necessarily mean that this is true of everyone with such symptoms or diagnosis.

        As for me, I’m just trying to stand back far enough to see the whole elephant, because I will turn 60 in a few months, my granddaughter is expecting my first grandchild (due in February), and I have recently been made aware of the tragic fact that some of the symptoms of “insanity” in my family of origin, has been passed down to one of my adult children, and to one of my grandchildren. So I am now looking back over my life, trying to make sense of the crazy parts, those parts that I have kept buried for over 45. I hope to find some kind of answer or resolution to the odd mix of disparate mental illnesses and trauma/abuse experiences that have been handed down through my family over the generations like an evil curse. Is it genetic? Environmental? Nature or nurture or a mixture of both? Are the schizophrenics, bipolar, MPD/DID, drug and alcohol abusers, violent abusers and victims of violence in my family, all stemming from the same faulty something? I dunno, but I’m on a Madness Marathon in my search to find this out, before it’s too late and I, too, am gone from this earth. Which is how I stumbled across this blog.


        • Lady Quixote

           /  11/27/2012

          Yikes. So sorry I did not proofread that before posting. I meant to say that it’s over 45 YEARS that I have tried to keep the ugly insane parts of my history secret, until now…. Silly me, I’m getting tired, need to get off the computer and eat something nurtricious.


          • lol, I don’t know what you wrote but my memory swears you said 45 Years… I need something to eat too.

            Congrats, Grandma to be.

            Good day, Lady.


          • Lady Quixote

             /  11/28/2012

            I do that, too! It’s like we have an autocorrect spell-checker built in. I see this as a mostly helpful aspect of the human brain, but it’s also an aspect that can get us into a lot of trouble, when we unconsciously, automatically “fill-in-the-blanks” – sometimes our “auto-correct” gets it right, and sometimes Not.


        • Dearest Lady Quixote,

          Sharing your story was very helpful for me to understand why some people are unsure of the existence of MPD/DID. Thank you for doing so. I feel privileged to have received such a gift.

          I agree, Sam Ruck’s argument makes just as much sense as mine and that neither are absolute.

          Your childhood was a harrowing experience from where I sit. I would have been terrified with an unpredictable father caring for me. If you are interested, I’d like to know more about what you discovered on your Madness Marathon. The behaviors your father displayed can be interpreted in many ways – one of which is MPD/DID. Multiple Personalities are not, to my knowledge, coded in DNA and, therefore, cannot be passed to another generation unlike Bipolar Disorder or Schizophrenia.

          Many people in the multiple community say they were diagnosed bipolar, borderline personality disorder, or within the schizophrenic spectrum – to list the top 3 diagnostic categories before being diagnosed with multiple personalities. It’s an interesting conundrum to me. Bipolar disorder can very easily be interpreted as multiple personalities because of the rapid cycling of moods that are experienced. All a person with Bipolar Disorder needs to do is name every emotion and poof! they will have multiple personalities. I mean it, it’s that simple.

          If you want to understand the workings of multiple personalities begin naming every emotion you have. Try making every dream a reality and try to figure out which one of your personalities is holding the memory associated with the dream – which by the way, are often viewed as memories and not dreams at all.

          I could go on, but you get my point. Please, be careful with the MPD/DID diagnosis, theories, anecdotes, et al. To date, there is no scientific evidence that multiple personalities have a genetic component. If I am wrong, perhaps someone will correct me and offer a peer-reviewed study.

          Thank you again for your openness. JB


          • Lady Quixote

             /  11/28/2012

            Your latest replies to my comments brought a happy smile to my face. Thank you, Dearest Jeanette!

            In the past couple of months, since I learned that my first great-grandchild is on the way, and at the same time I was informed of the tragic emotional/mental/abuse problems that one of my adult children and one of my teenage grandchildren have recently suffered, I have literally maxed out my credit card buying BOOKS. This is how I am doing my Madness Marathon: first, I scoured the web for books on topics pertinent to my search. Then I read through the reviewers’ comments, both consumer reviews and professional reviews, making sure to read and evaluate all the negative reviews as well as the positive. I also read up on the credentials and the backgrounds of the various authors. From all this research I complied a list of must-read books, and after that, I searched out the least expensive version of each book on my list, because to buy them all new would cost a couple of thousand dollars, at least.

            Some of the books I acquired via ebay, some I’ve purchased through Amazon, and most of the books I bought were used. But for some, the least expensive version happened to be a brand new book, while the used ones were priced higher – go figure. I also have a Kindle reader and several of the books, particularly the college textbooks, and the ones written by professionals for professionals, were least expensive in the Kindle version, so I bought as many as I could that way. On my Kindle alone I now have more than 20 such books yet to be read!

            Right now I have a great pile of books, and I’m plowing through them as fast as I can, without compromising my ability to comprehend and retain what I’m reading. Some of the books I’m reading were written by the sufferers of various mental illnesses, and of these, some claim to be cured, or at least in a controlled remission, and other authors admit to having ongoing problems, recurrent hospitalizations, and periodic psychotic breaks with reality. Many of the books I have acquired were written by credentialed therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists.

            I am not over-awed by professional credentials, I hasten to add. Regardless of one’s level of intelligence and education, I am finding that we all still have this annoyingly human brain with it’s tendency to decide too soon that we have the final and absolute answer on every topic. In my Madness Marathon, I am reading books written from many different perspective. What I mean is, some of the authors, both the laymen/mental illness sufferers (and a few written by family members of the mentally ill), and some of the credentialed professionals, believe that psychosis such as schizophrenia is always truama-based, and that the psychotic patient will do best with psychotherapy, and ought never to be put on psychotropic meds. Other authors whose books I am reading believe the opposite, that schizophrenia is entirely biological, probably genetic, possibly due to a neuroligically-damaging virus such as Lyme disease, but whatever its original cause, it is manifested as a chemical imbalance in the brain that can be corrected, or at least improved, with antipsychotic meds.

            Then there are others who believe that psychosis such as schizophrenia is a metaphysical spiritual emergency, and not mental or physcial at all!

            By the way, one of the reasons that I am not over-awed by professional credentials is thanks to my late, and dearly loved uncle (not a biological uncle, he was married for over 45 years to my aunt, my mother’s sister). My uncle Reed, who died 6 years ago, was a brilliant man with several doctorates to his name. He was the President Emeritus of a small east coast college where he actively served for almost 15 years prior to his retirement. My uncle was a wonderful, humble, big-hearted person, and I miss him terribly; a great light of love and comfort went out of my life when he died.

            But despite all his intelligence and education, my uncle was very human. From him I learned not to put the highly educated on a pedestal higher than they deserve. Education is wonderful and enlightening, but it does not turn a human being into an infallible god…. particularly not, because a great deal of what one is taught in colleges and universities is questionable at best.

            OK, I said all of this as a preface to answering your question of what I am learning (so far) on my Madness Marathon…. but, I have rambled on so long, and now I must take a break and go for a walk with our dog before the sun sets here. Then I must get something to eat. I tend to forget to eat when I’m writing, or reading.

            By the way, I am presently writing a book, which I have tentatively entitled A MONSTER CALLED MADNESS. I hope to have it finished, at least the first draft, by my 60th birthday, which will be this coming May. 13 years ago I wrote and published a book, it was only a novel, fun to write and (I hope) fun to read, so from that experience I am aware of what it takes to write and proof and rewrite and finally publish – it is a hard, energy-consuming job! My current book I am writing for the sake of my loved ones, my offspring (grown children and grandchildren and unborn great-grandson), and I am also writing this book for myself, as a way to try to make sense of my strange life. Finally, I am writing it with the hope that my story may help others in some way. Writing this book isn’t easy, but it’s also healing abd enlightening for me. It begins in 1967, when I was 14 years old, and diagnosed with acute schizophrenia.

            Was I cured of psychosis at the age of 16 after a 2-year incarceration in a notorious state insane asylum – or was I misdiagnosed, as many doctors and therapists have told me over the years? Did I actually have severe PTSD (which wasn’t a known diagnosis until 1980)? In the late 1960s, schizophrenia was the catch-all diagnosis of the day, as bipolar was in the 1990s.

            So, although my new book is non-fiction, it is also a real-life mystery, one that I hope to solve as I’m writing it.

            Time to walk the depressed doggie, she knows the sun is going down!

            Lynda/Lady Q


          • Lady Quixote

             /  11/28/2012

            I’m back from walking the dog, talking to my daughter on the phone, talking to my brother on the phone, and having dinner with my best-friend-hubby. (I am rich in love!) OK, here’s my Madness Marathon opinion, which is definitely subject to change, as I am only part way through my research:

            Mental illness labels such as Schizophrenia and other Psychotic disorders, mood disorders such as Clinical Depression, Anxiety, and Bipolar Disorder/aka Manic-Depression, and the myriad personality disorders, including the allegedly Dissociative Identity Disorder/aka Multiple Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality, Narcissistic Personality, Antisocial or Sociopath/Psychopath Personality, and so on – these are all descriptive labels intended to pigeon-hole the myriad ways in which the marvelously complex human mind can malfunction.

            HOW does a mind malfunction? WHAT causes a mind to malfuntion? Are there bona fide CURES, or at least effective methods of treatment that are able to control the many different ways in which the human mind malfunctions? Furthermore, are these “mental illnesses” biological, genetic, and/or environmental in nature and origin? Are psychotic or neurotic mental/emotional malfunctions sometimes caused by viruses, by head trauma, by brain tumors, or are they perhaps precipitated by vitamin deficiencies, the additives in our foods, or the magnetic fields produced by our modern electronics?

            Here’s a question of particular interest to me, with my diagnosis of PTSD: Are any (or all) of these mental illnesses caused, either wholly or partially, by TRAUMA?

            Furthermore, how do genetically identical twins, almost impossible to tell apart as infants and children, dressed alike, treated alike, raised in the same family and attending the same elementary and same high schools, end up with one of the twins (Carolyn Spiro, MD) graduating from Harvard Medical School and going on to become a successful Psychiatrist, wife, and mother, while the other twin (Pamela) became psychotic after having graduated from Brown University with honors, and completing one year of medical school, at which point her “normal” life can to an abrupt end? Today, at the age of 60, Carolyn Spiro is still manifestly healthy, still a practising psychiatrist, while Pamela continues to be hospitalized for brief but dangerously out-of-control psychotic breaks about every 6 months or so, despite being on closely-controlled medication, with a nurse coming to her home every day to ensure that she gets her meds in the proper dose. (Pamela is also very brilliant in her own right, producing incredible works of art, one of which she has set aside for me to purchase after Christmas, plus she is a fantastic writer, and has published several books. Unlke her sister, Pamela has never married, but she changed her last name years ago from Spiro, to Wagner, which is their mother’s maiden name. Their father, who is also a Harvard educated physician, has not spoken to Pamela more than once or twice in the nearly 40 years since her schizophrenia first manifested. Very hurtful and sad.)

            Puzzling, isn’t it? There are no easy answers to the case of the Spiro twins. If either our genes, or our upbringing and environment – or some deadly combination thereof – caused the mental illness known as schizophrenia, then shouldn’t these identical twins be either identically mentally ill – or identically mentally healthy? Pamela, the one who is struggling valiantly with the nightmarish hell of chronic schizophrenia, believes that her mental illness may have been caused by Lyme disease, which she aquired as a teenager from a deer tick. A cat scan or an MRI of her brain, I’ve forgotten which, along with some other medical tests, seems to bear this hypothesis out, or so she claims.

            What do *I* think at this point, after everything I’ve personally lived through, both in my own life and with my family of origin, particularly now that I have read so many diverse books on the subject of madness in all its myriad forms? It’s not easy to put my ideas into words at this point, but I will try.

            Using the very imperfect analogy of the human brain being similar to a computer: how does a computer malfunction? The answer is of course that there are countless ways and causes for a computer’s malfunction. Some computer malfucntions are minor and transient, such as when you overload the RAM and everything locks up, so you have to hit control alt delete and attempt to safely shut everything down and then reboot, although sometimes even that won’t work, so you have to do a hard restart, which can cause other computer malfunctions. Then there are “deadly” computer malfunctions – my last computer was hit by an extremely destructive evil Trojan virus which came in on a fake Mozy Home update. I tried everything I could find to salvage that netbook, and only managed to restore a small portion of my irreplaceable lost files. I am afraid to download my lost files that are still saved online via Mozy Home, as their own tech acknowledged that I may download the vicious trojan to my new computer, along with my files! Talk about a Catch-22! I’m planning to get an old throw-away computer and try downloading my files to it, and see what happens.

            Some computers malfuntion for various mechanical reasons, due to overuse, improper use, being dropped, spilling liquid or getting dust and debris in the keyboard, or due to age – I had an old Toshiba that fried the hard drive when the internal fan quit working all of a sudden, and BOOM it was GONE. A power surge can zap your computer, and even a brand new computer can seriously malfunction due to an undetected problem that came from the factory… the list of ways that a computer can malfuntion is very long and potentially endless. Also, a malfunctioning computer may have two or three or even more things go “wrong,” not just one thing.

            Along the same line of reasoning, how do traffic accidents happen? The answer of course is the same, there are multiple ways that traffic accidents occur, among them mechanical problems, driver error, road and weather conditions, impaired or distracted drivers, a malfunctioning street light, and so on. Also, just as computers can malfunction due to an almost endless variety and sometimes a combination of problems, many traffic accidents, when investigated, are found to have been caused by multiple factors: one driver was talking on his cell phone, the other driver was impaired by alcohol, the road was wet from a recent rain, the wind was blowing, visibility was poor, the brakes on one of the cars was worn out, the traffic light had malfuntioned, the center stripe was missing, and the pavement was uneven due to potholes or repairs in progress….. and so on.

            Not only are there maybe a thousand or more ways that a traffic accident can occur, there are, as a result of traffic accidents, numerous types and degrees of both property damage, and damage to humans, as a result of traffic accidents. Some accidents result in loss of life, some leave the injured person with permanent disfigurement, incurable paralysis, or varying degrees of brain injury. Some vehicles are totaled, some can be salvaged with a great deal of repair, and some escape with barely a scratch. By the same token, many lucky accident victims escape with very minor injuries, or no injuries at all, as I have done in the past.

            Lumping everyone with a mental illness label in the same dire category is, I believe, as erroneous as lumping all traffic accident victims, or all malfunctioning computers, as having the same causes, the same prognosis, and the same degree of malfunction.

            Schizophrenia, I am coming to believe, is not just one thing, it is many things, and is probably also caused by many things. I believe that some families, such as my own, may have a number of schizophrenics in their ranks, not because this disorder is necessarily genetic in their particular family, but because there is a repressive mindset and an abusive envrionment being passed down in the family that can cause, or at least contribute, to various mental and/or emotional dysfuntions and disturbances.

            Here’s a great example I dervied from one of the books I’ve read recently: you will often find a large number of politically and religiously like-minded people in a single family, such as a family whose extended members are predominantly Republican Southern Baptists. Does this mean there must therefore be a gene which causes the members of this family to be both Republican and a Southern Baptist? I very much doubt it, don’t you!

            In some cases, the scientfic evidence I’ve read about points to definite genetic causes for phsychosis, and in some cases it definitely does not. In other cases, scientific studies find that schizophrenia is best treated with psychotropic antipsychotics, and in still other cases it is found that, for example, impoverished people living in third world countries who do not have access to these medications, actually fair the best over the long haul.

            I am beginning to suspect, through my reading on the topic, that DID/MPD does “exists,” but only as a delusion, quite often as an iatrogenic delusion. I am also beginning to suspect that many so-called “mental illnesses,” and “personality disorders,” etc., are in reality delusional at their core.

            MISTAKES WERE MADE, BUT NOT BY ME! We all are both blessed and limited by a mind that can convince us of all kinds of things that may not be objectively, or even consensually, “true!”

            I am NOT a fan of Madonna… but lately I keep thinking of the lyrics from one of her hits from the 1980s: “Life is a mystery, everyone must stand alone….”

            Whew….. my apologies for hijacking this post! I’m done now!



          • Certainly mental illnesses probably have many causes and many options for treatment.

            I like your idea that multiple personalities & Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) exist as a delusion. Works for me.

            I have this blog for the purpose of offering people who want to educate themselves about mental illness the option of knowing the dark side of treatment, as that for DID, that they can then make choices in a more educated way than I did. If the Internet was running and this blog was written by someone else while I was in treatment, I’m sure I would have left much sooner. I couldn’t have avoided it altogether because the psychiatrist did not disclose that his specialty was diagnosing and treating multiple personalities.

            Again, I choose to look for a biological root of mental illness first.

            Feel free to hijack posts as much as you want!


          • Hi Lady,

            Your post is lengthily & packed with information, so I’d like to split up my response so I can address each separately and make it easier for you, me, and readers to follow our conversations.


          • Lady Q, I just want to remind you that our conversations can be read by anyone worldwide – that is why I keep referring to you as Lady.


          • Lady Quixote

             /  11/30/2012

            Thank you. And yes, I know. I just don’t care that much about people knowing who I am. Maybe I should care, but… well… my life is an open book to those who know me, so what the heck. I am still undecided about whether or not I will publish my book under an assumed name. I personally prefer to use my real name, but on the other hand, I want to protect the privacy of the innocent. To heck with the privacy of the abusers. Sigh… it’s a hard decision.

            I was very busy yesterday and didn’t get on here, now I see that you left several comments in reply to my comments, so I’m reading them now.


          • got it.


          • Here is a link to another blog of mine

            I made a huge mistake (because I haven’t a clue how to websites run) and I changed the URL not realizing that it would ruin my blog. That is why I do not use it.

            That being said you may find the discussion with “Thomas” enlightening. I have ended my part of the discussion for many reasons as you will find if you choose to follow it.

            What you will find, again, is the intolerance of my opinions and the ridiculous comments on my experiences with multiple personalities and the 6+ year treatment I received for it before I got healthy enough to realize the diagnosis was bogus.

            You will also find that “Thomas” like many others poses questions to me and demands answers while refusing to answer mine.

            When a commenter comes to my blog and cannot converse without trying to demean me and my experiences I lose interest in the discussion and find it a huge waste of my time and attention.



          • Lady Quixote

             /  11/30/2012

            Thank you for the link. I don’t know if I will actually go there, though, because from what you’ve said about Thomas’s comments, my PTSD may be triggerred if I read what he wrote. I grew up with so much hatefulness and beligerance that I can’t tolerate a lot of that, even when it is directed toward someone else.

            That’s why I like your blog. You are bold about speaking your truth, but you do not come across as hateful and beligerant. Not that I’ve seen, anyway. We are all imperfect humans, we each look at life through our unique set of filters, and even the gentlest of souls can at times be rude or hateful. It can happen without us even realizing it, until it is too late. I’ve certainly been guilty of being bitchy and rude. I hate that I’ve ever done it, and I have tried really hard to rectify the situation when I realize I’ve screwed up in that way. So I can understand, and readily forgive, when people who are primarily courteous and compassionate in nature, occasionally make a mistake in this regard.

            But those people who tend to operate primarily in a disrespectful, know-it-all mode, I just can’t handle. Their behavior and words trigger too many painful memories from my insane childhood, and my abusive former marriage, and the abusive therapist I had before I finally found a really good one at the age of 50. Repitition compulsion – I lived that way for half a century. No More!


          • Lady,

            I go for the biological component before I go anywhere regarding mental illness. Although the science of mental illness has a long way to go, I think it’s the basis for many mental illnesses and can be managed by drug intervention.

            The multiple community will have you believe that there is hard science behind the diagnose of Dissociative Identity Disorder but there isn’t. With all the reading you do, you may know how to evaluate articles written by “professionals” and “credentialed” doctors of psychiatry and psychology. I think that most of the research on multiple personalities is flawed. If people don’t know how to evaluate published research, they can be easily mislead.

            Many point to MRI’s and other means of tracking the mind. Yet again, hanging one’s hat on this “research” will have you believing the results are definitive. Upon further reading, what you will likely find, is that these tests can be manipulated.

            You may find The James Randi Foundation useful in debunking what some think is hard scientific studies.


          • Lady Quixote

             /  11/30/2012

            Thanks, I will definitely visit the Randi link!

            Yes, Critical Thinking…. I’m finding that it’s a wonderful and mind-expanding experience to look at many different ideas and examine various ways of looking at things, so long as I keep in mind exactly what you said, how easily tests and stats can be manipulated.

            Even the study of physics, and quantum mechanics, is found to be highly variable, depending upon the scientist’s pre-existing hypothesis! For example, according to what I have read, if the person doing the experiment believes that the smallest particle of matter is most likely a solid, his or her experiments will bear that hypothesis out. But the scientist who believes that the smallest particle of matter is most likely non-solid energy, when they do the very same experiment, in the very same way, the matter particles behave as though they are pure energy. Spooky action at a distance, I think it may be called? Or maybe I am thinking of something else. It’s “spooky,” anyway!

            Personally, I believe that the smallest particles of matter are probably pure energy. I think the variable results of these experiments “prove” that is so. But, who knows, I’m not a scientist.

            About the genetics hyposthesis: I have a 14-year-old grandson who was born profoundly disabled. When he was a toddler, genetic tests found that he has a tiny deletion on chromosone 22q13. It is a Shank 3 deletion…. don’t ask me what that means, I don’t know. When Erik’s genetic anomaly was found, he was only the 56th person in the world known to have that particular genetic defect. It was so rare, that it did not even have a name; his disorder was only known as “Chromosone 22 q 1-3 Deletion.”

            There are now about 400 known in the world with this deletion. It now has a name, it is called Phelan-McDermid Syndrome. (Not sure if I’m spelling their names right.) All of those who have this, have many physical problems, and they are also profoundly cognitively impaired. Erik, my grandson, at 14, is mentally about the age of a 1-year-old.

            Erik is the only one of my blood relatives who is mentally retarded, and he is the only one known to have this genetic anomaly. However, research into his rare disorder has tentatively found a link between Shank 3 deletions, and schizophrenia.

            But… I was schizophrenic from age 14 to 16. I have not had any symptoms of schizophrenia since 1969, nor have I taken any antipsychotics since 1969. My younger brother, though, was diagnosed schizophrenic at the age of 19. He has been on antipsychotics ever since. He is 51 now, and still has delusions, hears voices, sees visions.

            It’s a puzzle. I do have at least one genetic disorder that I’m aware of, I was genetically tested and it was found that I have inherited from both parents the gene that predisposes one to develop Hereditary Hermochromatosis, also known as Iron Overload.

            Genetics.. life is a mystery. Can we overcome our genes? Or are we hopelessly locked in. I don’t think it helps people who are struggling with any kind of mental illness, to be told that their genes have caused this, and therefore there is no hope of a cure. Again, how can genetically identical twins raised in the same home end up with one being a Harvard-educated psychiatrist, and the other a chronic paranoid schizophrenic? I believe the answers are more complicated and more variable than our human brains want to acknowledge…. we are all predisposed to leap to hasty conclusions, to “fill in the blanks,” and in so doing, how much do we miss? A lot, I believe.


          • Lady, glad to know your Uncle Reed brought you much comfort. He undoubtedly left you with a curious mind and probably gave you many other gifts – like critical thinking.

            I find that arguments, debates, and discussions on this blog attack me for not being a “professional” and not having a degree above the Bachelor’s level – although it is in psychology and I have worked in the mental health field with children and young adults with schizophrenia and other psychotic disorders.

            This argument, that I find interesting, is used to discredit me. Whatever. When y-ou read conversations on this blog, you will find over and over and over the inability to be critical and to deduce arguments in a logical fashion.

            Telling me I don’t know what I am talking about is another one of my favorites. Another is the accusation that I somehow fabricated multiple personalities for attention. Another is that I should have left therapy, and on and on. Here is a copy of the response to “Thomas” that I left at the other blog Although I gave a long list of why I could not leave treatment (like being locked in) and what I did to get away did not convince “Thomas” that I am fully responsible for the medical malpractice and negligent psychiatric care I received. Debating “Thomas” became a futile exercise so I terminated it from my end.


          • Lady, you are giving me a terrific workout! I appreciate the challenge you offer – I have not had that on this blog for awhile.


          • Lady Quixote

             /  11/30/2012



          • Lady, I am thrilled that you are writing a book “I am presently writing a book, which I have tentatively entitled A MONSTER CALLED MADNESS” I can’t wait to read it. Need a proof reader? I’m here…

            Your work will help many, many individuals suffering from mental illness and support their families. Good for you and good for us!


          • Lady Quixote

             /  11/30/2012

            Oh, thank you! Wow! Proofing is so critical, and one can never adequately proof one’s own book. So many indie e-book authors don’t realize this, and what a mess some of these new books are.

            My aunt, a former English teacher, proofed my novel, she colored it all up with her wonderful red pen. Thanks to her, my novel was made so much better! But that was 13 years ago, she is not as energetic as she was then, and in the intervening years she has lost her husband of 45 years, and her only daughter, who drowned last year at age 38.

            Losing my precious young cousin was a pain beyond belief. I am finally, now that a year and a half has passed, reaching the point where I am more grateful that Elaine was in my life, than destroyed over the tragedy of losing her. I am especially grateful that she and I talked for nearly an hour on the phone the night before she died, and I told her – thank God I got to tell her! – “I love you 4 ways. One, I love you because you are You. Two, I love you because you are my cousin. Three, I love you because I loved your dad, my favorite uncle. And Four, I love you because your wonderful mother is my favorite aunt.” I had never told her that before. Thank God I got to tell her, before it was forever too late.

            Ah… love and sorrow, so closely related. I confess I have gotten lost in our conversation here, Jeanette, i am not sure if I’ve read all your replies to all my comments…. I’m going to take a long break and come back later.

            I’m so glad your terrific blog is still visible! Please feel free to email me at my (xxxxxx removed by blogger)email address. I hope we don’t wear each other out, you are right, this is quite a workout!


          • Well Lady, that is quite a good story to learn about your relationship with your cousin. What a coincidence you had the opportunity to tell her how much she was loved and the day before her death no less… remarkable. A good lesson for us all, say it today because we have no idea if we get a chance tomorrow.

            Good idea to take a break. I, for one, am on information overload. Was splitting my answers up useful? Perhaps I should have cut and pasted your statement first. Yah, that would have helped. Will do that in the future.

            Enjoy the weekend!


          • Lady, Yikes! Although I don’t like knowing you were confined to an institution, I am glad to know you will have excellent insight into my experiences with psychiatric hospitalizations.

            Yes, doggie care is a must! 😉


        • Very glad to know you are not awed by credentials… just sayin’


  2. Lady Quixote

     /  11/27/2012

    Hi, your link above apparently goes to your dashboard’s editor, which is inaccessible to anyone other than you. I’m talking about this link:

    Follow the conversation that led to the WordPress threat to report here:

    I wish more people had the attitude of Voltaire: “I disagree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.”

    Hugs to you~


    • Dear Lady,

      Thanks for the information. I still maintain that I stink at Internet stuff. lol

      I, too, defend people’s right to express themselves & have done so on this blog from day one. It is unfortunate that people find the need to censor a blogger for heaven’s sake. I do not take kindly to dirty players, never have.

      I hate to admit it but the hug helped.


      • Lady Quixote

         /  11/27/2012

        I’m so glad the hug helped, Jeanette. I’ve been the target of haters too, and when that happens I find I need kindness, compassion, empathy, and HUGS, almost more than I need oxygen and food.

        I recently read a book that, for me, beautifully explained why it is human nature for people to get so rabidly angry at those who hold beliefs different from their own. I am a voracious reader, and I have read literally hundreds, possibly thousands, of books of all kinds in my 59 and a half years… and this book is my new favorite of them all, because it explains – in an understandable, logical, and scientific way – the puzzle of why most people are so intense over their beliefs. The book is entitled MISTAKES WERE MADE (BUT NOT BY ME). The brilliant and open-minded authors are both social psyhologists, I’ve forgotten their names at the moment (and am too lazy to look it up). I love this book so much, I wish it were required reading in every school, and before getting a license of any kind, especially a marriage license, before having a child, before being hired for any kind of a job, and most definitely required reading for every politician. This book actually makes it almost understandable (though no less wrong and crazy) as to why some maniacs take their anger against different religions and cultures to the horrible extreme of starting wars against them, and flying jets into tall buildings to kill them…. why are these people so afraid of people who have different political or moral beliefs, why they hate them so much, to the extreme of wanting to wipe them off the face of the earth – all of that is made clear in this pithy book.

        When I read it a couple of months ago, it not only opened my eyes, it took a lot of the STING out of the memory of people who have vilified me and attacked me over the years, simply for having different ideas and beliefs than they have. My mind is apparently too open for most people to handle, and I often have to keep my personal ideas mostly to myself, to keep from being verbally attacked, or worse. For example, I am a fairly recent convert to Christianity, after being agnostic for many years, since the age of 50 I have been a believer in Chrsit – but I have read the Bible from cover to cover several times, and as as result, I cannot believe that it was written or inspired by God. Maybe a few good parts of it were, but not most of it. And it’s amazing how many “good Christian people” who are supposedly full of God’s agape love want to stone me for thinking this. Some of them can’t wait to watch me burn in hell. Sad.

        Here’s another hug: ((((Jeanette)))).

        Lady Quixote, aka Lynda


        • You so totally rock, Lady Quixote. Here’s one for you {{{{LQ}}}}

          Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson are the authors of Mistakes Were Made (but Not by me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts. Duh, it happens to be sitting in front of me! I too, think the book should be required reading. I included it on this blog in the books section.

          From the back cover of Mistakes Were Made:

          “Based by years of research … offers a fascinating explanation of self-deception – how it works, the harm it can cause, and how we can overcome it.” Chapter 3 – Memory, the Self-justifying Historian & Chapter 5 – Good Intentions, Bad Science: The Closed Loop of Clinical Judgement is particularly pertinent to conversations here.

          When my staff returns to work.. I’ll ask them to write a few posts based on the book.

          Agreed, hate comes in all packages from every corner in the world.

          Best to you and thank you for your encouragement, JB


          • Lady Quixote

             /  11/28/2012

            Oh, wow-you know the book, too! How awesome! I wish we could get together over coffee and just talk about all this fascinating mind-stuff. My best-friend-hubby is also a voracious reader, but all he ever wants to read are escapist novels. I too like novels very much, but I want to continue learning and growing, even if I am a great-grandmother-to-be. Especially because I am a great-grandmother-to-be! As I said, I am trying to find some answers before this next generation experiences the pain of our family’s ongoing “crazy curse.” We already know the baby is a boy… wow. In spite of everything, life goes on…..

            My husband has severe chronic PTSD caused by combat as a young US Marine in Vietnam, so to escape his painful intrusive thoughts he does a lots of reading, often reading an entire novel in one day. I have also been diagnosed with PTSD, caused by my crazy childhood, which led to me jumping out of the frying pan at age 16, straight into the fire – via unconscious repetition-compulsion – into an abusive, loveless marriage. (I met my current husband 9 years ago after finally getting some good therapy for my PTSD, so my husband today is very loving and kind and never abusive.)

            Our marriage works because we understand each other’s “crazies,” and our “triggers” are very different, so when one of us is temporarily coming unglued, the other one is usually able to maintain the equilibrium. We also have a rescued Red Heeler Cattle Dog who was badly abused and then abandoned as a puppy. 5 years late, and she still has nightmares and cries in her sleep almost every day, the poor baby…. Truly, we 3 put the FUN in dysFUNctional!

            Where was I going with all this rambling? OH I remember, I was trying to say that although I am so greatly blessed now to have the daily companion of a loving man who is my very best friend as well as my husband, when I want to talk about the things I’m learning on my “Madness Marathon,” his eyes glaze over….. I’m so glad I’ve found your blog, Jeanette, reading and commenting here helps to fill that void.


          • Be back tomorrow, Lady. I’m exhausted. Thank you for your posts. I look forward to reading them in the morning.


          • Oh, I stand corrected, Lady…. Great Great Grandmother — what an honor. Your husband is your best friend – I don’t hear that very often although I’m sure it’s true for many. I agree, Dogs are marvelous. Cattle dog? gees. they love to nip… I’m never sure what to do!

            I am thrilled that my blog is useful and helpful to your adventures in mental health lol. You are quite remarkable in your endeavor to educate yourself. I wish others who come to this blog would do the same thing and leave comments that are useful to others.

            I would be honored if you would consider writing an article on your experiences. Thanks again. J


          • Lady Quixote

             /  11/30/2012

            OH! I just now read your comment about me writing an article on my experiences. I would be honored, and would love to do it! Let me know exactly what you’re looking for, please. I may already have an article almost written, I have tentatively entitled it: How I Became Schizophrenic (and How I Stopped My Schizophrenia). It goes along with my search/research into what the heck is wrong with my precious family!

            Sorry to have to correct you again, I am only going to be a single GREAT grandmother, not Great-great. Did I make a typo on that? My 41-year-old son’s teenage daughter is having a baby, he is due in February. I c-c-c-c-can’t wait!!


          • Hi Lady,

            I have some information for you regarding Amazon book comments.

            I am currently following discussions on the book 22 Faces by Judy Byington. It is about her 20 year therapy with Jenny Hill who has allegedly suffered Satanic ritual abuse, and a host of other atrocities.

            Discussions on this book totally blew a hole in the Amazon book review section which I find a shame for readers. Comments on this book are split into believers in multiple personalities and non-believers. The politics of those who identify as multiple or survivors have launched a political campaign against those who disagree with their position.

            Here is how the politics of multiple personalities is playing out on the Amazon book review:

            Those who support multiple personalities and the author of 22 Faces continuously vote against commenters who do not agree with them. What they do is vote the comment as not pertinent to the discussion – in so doing, they get the comment removed.

            I do not find that non-believers doing the same. When comments are voted “out” what the multiple community ac complishes is getting people censored. They want to be heard but at every turn, they censor others.

            Unfortunately, the discussion has fallen to personal attacks by each side of the issue. This is unfortunate and surely not what Amazon book review intended.

            So, my point is that taking comments seriously may mislead you. Comments, in this example, are very useful for readers to witness the depth of venom people have towards each other for differing opinions. Comments are also useful because you will be able to learn about the thinking patterns and illogical conclusions of the multiple community.

            Here’s a link.

            If the link doesn’t work, will you let me know? Thx


          • Lady Quixote

             /  11/30/2012

            I hear you about the Amazon reviewer problems, loud and clear! This is why I usually read the negative (meaning 1 star) reviews first, and from their “tone” I try to discern if their opinion seems reasonable or prejudicial. Then I read the postive reviews, at least some of them. Finally, before deciding to buy the book, I read the free sample on my Kindle, if it is available, which it usually is.


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