My Mom has Multiple Personalities: What the kids say

Children, teens, and adult-children, who cope with a mother with alter personalities have a variety of opinions about their home situation and their mother. Below are comments by those children, and adult-children:

Submitted on 2011/06/14 at 7:52 am | In reply to Jeanette Bartha. by “V”
This is reposted from its original location @ the post “How to Misread a Research Article”

“You are so right about the opportunity cost of DID. Years of life can’t be returned.

My siblings and I missed out on much of a normal childhood because of my mother’s DID. My mother pretty much missed out on being a mother… kids grow up fast and if you are pretending to be a child and speaking in baby voices and in the mental hospital for years, well, then you miss out on being a mother. She also missed out on having a career or real life. And, of course, she missed the chance to treat whatever real mental illness she had.

DID therapy is a deal with the devil. At first, it doesn’t seem so bad, but the losses escalate over time. In the end, the patient is left with broken relationships, no career, no retirement savings, years of precious life just gone… but the doctors have made lots of money.

My mother was definitely in a state of arrested development during DID, and after. It is impossible to calculate the costs of all of that wasted life. So many opportunities were lost, for her and for my whole family.”


“we have been accused of being “fake” alot. even by our adult son who said we were using our DID as a crutch to not have to do something we don’t want to do. that hurt ” Retrieved 5/21/11. DissociationDisorder@yahoogroups #8362.


Hello all,
…Because it’s so rare I’ve never found another adult child of an MPD parent to talk to. …She would suddenly start crying and nothing you’d say could make her stop, or she’d curse at you and start yelling then swing to crying and tell you how horrible you were for yelling at her (whether you did or not). Two minutes later it was as if the entire thing never happened …

…she used to come into my room sobbing and appologize [sic] for being such a bad mother. I’d tell her she wasn’t a bad mother, and she would believe me, even though I actually hated the horrible, insane thing she was.

I don’t usually share this given the culture of misunderstanding around MPD, but an anonymous post to strangers is oddly cathartic. Mel  Retrieved 4/4/11.


Response to above post by Mel.

I can more than sympathize. My mom had MPD too, she had about 2,000 personalities and life was hard living with her, to say the least. I am 28 and I am still trying to deal with the effects that she left in her wake.

I have three siblings that had to deal with it too, but she liked to pick on me the most. She would do things to me like pick up something, something that I had mentioned I was looking for that I had just found, like a scarf, that I was going to wear when I left for school, and throw it away in the dumpster. When I confronted her about those things she would say that I deserved it because I left it out, or worse, she would claim that it never happened and punish me for saying it did. OR this sound familiar? she moves something, clear as day, and moments later YOU are the culprit who took it…

I have been through all of that and I really know about the anger you feel.. I feel it too. I still have nightmares about the things she would do.. in fact I just had one last night.

She would expect the whole family to revolve around her, everyone else’s problems didn’t matter as she was so quick to compare them to her own abuse suffered as a child. I always felt guilty for even HAVING problems because hers were always the ones that deserved comfort and help, not mine or anyone else’s.

You can’t reason with someone like that, it’s not possible.. the tables are always turned on you.
Anyhow I just wanted you to know your not the only one out there who has had to deal with a parent who has MPD. I wish you the best and I hope we can talk sometime. Neeka   Retrieved 4/4/11.


My 29 Mothers… Accepting my Mother with D.I.D. (aka MPD)

I have a mother who was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder (used to be termed Multiple Personality Disorder) a few years ago….  How can i hate her when she has gone trough so much? But how can I pretend I am close to her without feeling like I’m holding back?? She is a different person than the woman who raised me. I had an amazing childhood! …Then I feel GUILTY as hell for feeling this way when she has gone through so much yet is still here fighting… trying to get better.
I am currently training to become a counselor… but this demon of anger and sadness suppression will continue to hold me back from being my best… Is there anyone out there who knows of a support group in California? I hate feeling like this. -eileen  Retrieved 4/4/11


Book Review

My Mom is Different by Deborah Sessions

This activity book for young children is designed to be used as a supplement to My Mom Is Different. It enables children to create their own scrapbook of photos, drawings, and writings that illustrate different aspects of life in a family with a dissociative parent.

An appealing, personal workbook, this is a valuable tool for self-esteem building in young children, and a means to express their range of thoughts and feelings about their “different” families.

Review by The Sidran Foundation Bookshelf

Multiple Personality Books accessed 3/8/11.


by Tiffany Fletcher

“Every day was confusing — sometimes frightening … mother became suicidal after her grandmother’s death and was put into the hospital. “When she came back I just remember thinking, ‘Where has my mother gone? She’s not here anymore, she’s different,” Tiffany said.

“We had to help clothe her, we had to help feed her, had to help get her ready for bed, had to help drag her to bed as best we could.”

“It’s hard to love someone who’s hurting you, but at the same time it’s hard not to love someone who you are caring for.”

A Mother’s Multiple Personalities Healed her Family Accessed 3/3/11.


My mother is 55 and talks like a baby to friends and family.

Posted by kaycurry77
“My mother has talked like a baby for as long as i can remember. My family members always find this a problem. … She makes up stories everyday, lies constantly. … I think she needs to be in a institute and get help.” Accessed 2/21/11. Answers.psychcentral


by AngelEyes

“I grew up with a Mother who had multiply personalities. I never knew when I came home from school each day which person would be there to greet me. Some of them, could be nice, but others were mean spirited and even abusive to me. … As a child of a parent with multiply personalities, it was a horrific childhood for me. It’s one of the worse of the many mental illness diseases and one of the hardest to treat. You sound like a loving, caring and compassionate person. But, bear in mind you can’t save her, you can try to help her, but you’ll never save her. I wish you the best of Luck. Downloaded 2/18/11.


A loving relationship IS possible with people who have DID. My mother is an example. She has DID due to extreme childhood ritual and sexual abuse. She’s the most amazing and resilient woman I have ever known, and I am proud to be her daughter. My father has been married to her for 35 years and has supported her unconditionally. It can work! Please educate your readers and provide some useful information about the courageous people who live with DID. –Proud of Mom in Pennsylvania

Leave a comment


  1. Autumn

     /  12/28/2017

    Trying to remember my childhood is hard often I was in a trance, probably from the burden I had to carry. My mother who I love dearly is diagnosed with D.I.D. I do remember my mom arms shredded with city’s every time I saw her fresh city’s dyed in blood was there. I remembered my mother and I went to the movies and she left I think I was eight and thank goodness her friend was with us but we found her on the side of the freeway. It’s hard growing up with a mom that is, what makes it hard is that you know you can’t have a normal mom, you have a mom that is broken, that can’t function that is hurt as if she was glass and shattered she will never be whole and that hurts me. As a child I never asked for anything and I never showed her how much it hurts me, though there are scary times woth some of her alter sometimes they would point a knife at you and sometimes they say hurtful things it’s unpredictable but even though that’s how it is she my mother is kind, I am trying to understand all my mom’s alters witch is 14+ different alters and I have a hard time as for myself for I can’t focus I daydream on the max and it’s uncontrollable, I don’t sleep, I feel empty, i don’t understand love and don’t trust people, I have anxiety but I know that about myself and I plan to understand my mom and myself. I don’t know if other people who grew up with a parent with D.I.D goes through the same problems as I do, I’m trying to find ways to remember my past for I have a hard time remembering I remember bits and pieces mainly of my mom but everything else I don’t like my father I don’t remember him till I was 12ish and I mainly lived with him. I guess I’m trying to see how it affects the people who are raised under these conditions, I also want people to understand that people with D.I.D are suffering greatly, for they are reliving the trauma they have been through.


    • Autumn

       /  12/28/2017

      Autocorrect changed cuts to city


    • Thank you for posting your experiences, Autumn. You seem to be in a lot of pain, is there someone you can talk to? You shouldn’t be burdened by your Mom’s illness although I supposed it’s impossible not to be. I hope you have some people in your life that you can be with when life at home gets overwhelming. Best. JB


    • Emily

       /  02/13/2018

      I also grew up with a Mom with this disorder. She only had 2 alters. One a young child an the other, well let’s just say she wasn’t nice. But that alter was Brenda. Brenda killed me when I was 2 years old in an attempt to commit suicide. She put me in the front seat with no seat belt an drive into oncoming traffic hitting another car head on. Brenda tried to drown me also. I remember my mom being in the mental hospital more than she was home. At 4-5 years old Brenda would wake me up in the middle of the night beating me. When Mom was on her meds the alters didn’t come through as much but then she would get convinced that she didn’t need the meds an Brenda would surface. Brenda hated me an hated that my Dad loved me the way she wished her Dad loved her. She was sexually an physically abused as a child. My dad was a wonderful man to stand by here for 31 years until she passed away. But I have severe anxiety, PTSD, insomnia an depression because of my mom’s alter basically raising me.


  2. G

     /  10/01/2017

    Is there a forum for these discussions? I’m 34 and grew up with a mum with MPD. I can completely relate to the posts above and would love to chat about how others are dealing with relationships as an adult. Thank you!


    • Hello, G., I’m just getting to work on my blog & apologize that I missed your post. If you want to converse with others like you, perhaps you could strike up a conversation here. I’ll try to find you others to talk to.


  3. Julie Clarity

     /  07/31/2017

    I just remember thinking, even way back into my toddler years, “Who is this, now?” My mother cycles quickly between at least three personalities, to this day. I’m used to it, but I am also putting up a stand now that her nasty personality is trying out its wings in unexpected outbursts, again. I’m too old to put up with my mother’s nasty fracture of personality, these days, and setting boundaries. I am hopeful she will be a good grandmother, unlike either of my own, also raised in abusive households.

    At any rate, I have to be sure of the person she married before I start poking around to find out if he knows he is married to a multiple, but he did say something that caused me to take notice, he said: “She is just like her mother.”

    The experience growing up with my mother was less than desirable, but it all paid off with the employer for whom I worked with three bosses.


    • Hi Julie, Thanks for your post. There are other adult-children coping with a mother diagnosed with DID. Good for you in putting constraints on your mother’s behavior. You likely had many struggles as a child – now you can take control and make it clear what you will and won’t put up with. It isn’t easy, but I hope it’s well worth finding some newfound peace.



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